“Let’s Get Closer”: 7 Intentional Ways to Build Intimacy in Your Marriage
Welcome to Dear Emmanuela….
Where wisdom meets grace for your journey to lasting love.
As a Christian marriage coach, I often hear couples say, “We love each other, but we don’t feel close anymore.” If that’s you, I want you to know: you’re not alone—and more importantly, you’re not stuck. Marital intimacy is not automatic; it’s cultivated. And while the world often limits intimacy to the physical, Scripture teaches us that intimacy begins in the heart and flows into every part of our relationship—spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and yes, physically.
Let’s talk about intentional ways you and your spouse can rebuild, reignite, and deepen your intimacy—God’s way.
1. Pray Together Daily
There’s no intimacy without spiritual unity. Prayer invites the Holy Spirit into the middle of your marriage. When you and your spouse pray aloud together—even just five minutes a day—it softens your hearts, breaks down walls, and strengthens your emotional connection.
🕊 “For where two or three gather in My name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:20
Intimacy Tip: Start or end your day with hand-in-hand prayer. Let your spouse hear you pray for them.
2. Create Space for Uninterrupted Conversation
In a world full of distractions, undivided attention is one of the most romantic gifts you can give. Set aside time weekly—without screens, without kids—to talk, dream, and check in with each other.
Intimacy Tip: Ask intentional questions like, “How’s your heart lately?” or “What’s one thing I can do to love you better this week?”
3. Touch Outside the Bedroom
Physical affection isn’t just for sexual moments. Holding hands, hugging, touching shoulders—these little gestures say, “I see you. I love you. I’m still choosing you.” And they build a bridge for deeper connection.
Intimacy Tip: Aim for a “10-second hug” or kiss every day—it releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone)!
4. Date Each Other Again
Dating shouldn’t stop after the wedding. In fact, married couples need it more. It reminds you both that romance is still alive and that your relationship is worth nurturing.
Intimacy Tip: Plan one “mini-date” at home each week—even if it’s just dessert and conversation after the kids go to bed. Be creative!
5. Practice Emotional Transparency
You cannot have intimacy without vulnerability. Be willing to share your fears, your failures, your desires, and your dreams. And listen with grace when your spouse does the same.
🕊 “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” – Genesis 2:25
Intimacy Tip: Try journaling and exchanging your entries once a week. It’s a gentle way to open up emotionally.
6. Serve Each Other with Joy
Acts of service—done without expectation—can break down emotional barriers and spark fresh appreciation. Intimacy is fueled when we feel seen, supported, and served.
Intimacy Tip: Ask, “What can I take off your plate today?” and follow through. Small acts done in love build lasting closeness.
7. Pursue Sexual Intimacy with Intention
God designed sex to be a powerful expression of love, trust, and unity in marriage. It’s more than physical—it’s deeply spiritual. Intimacy flourishes when both partners feel emotionally safe and spiritually connected.
🕊 “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.” – Proverbs 5:18
Intimacy Tip: Talk openly about your desires, needs, and boundaries. Don’t avoid the conversation—lean into it with grace.
Intimacy doesn’t just happen. It’s planted, watered, and nurtured—daily. And just like any garden, it requires patience, intentionality, and a whole lot of love. But here’s the beautiful truth: when God is at the center of your marriage, no intimacy issue is too far gone. He restores. He rekindles. He makes all things new.
So, take the first step today. Don’t wait until it’s convenient. Start pursuing your spouse with fresh eyes and renewed purpose.
Because a Christ-centered marriage isn't just about staying together. It’s about growing closer—heart to heart, hand in hand, and soul to soul.
Need help rebuilding intimacy in your marriage?
Let’s talk. I offer private coaching for couples who are ready to heal, reconnect, and love deeper—God’s way. 💍
Contact me at https://www.wivesintraining.com/couples-consultation
With faith in God for your love story,
Emmanuela Rodenberg
Author of How to Attract a Godly Husband
Minister of the Gospel
Certified Christian Marriage Coach
Christian Dating & Relationship Coach
Founder & CEO, Wives in Training International
P.S. Hit reply and tell me — what’s one thing you're praying for in your marriage? I’d love to pray with you! 🙏
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